Bestfriend Break ups are still break ups..

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As promised, more anonymous questions are being posted!

Are ya’ll as excited as I am? This is one that was emotional for me to write having been through something very similar.

Dear MissguidedQueen,

I have something on my mind and I don’t know if it’s good or bad. One girl who used to be my best friend talked shit about me to another girl…

And immediately ended our friendship. Last night (after about 5 months) sent sent me a long paragraph about how sorry she is for everything she has done with a picture of us.

Obviously I miss our friendship, but I’m afraid that maybe if we go back to what we had she will do it again. So.. I don’t think I can forgive her.

Help! What would you do?

–Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

The ending of friendships feel exactly like a break up, and if it don’t you wasn’t very close. Let me just tell you that I went through something like this once, and it was one of the most painful things I went through. I even got a spine tattoo from that break-up .

Loyalty and Trust are what make up best-friendships, well that and the ability to drink 3 bottles of wine, eat ice cream, gossip and go on girl dates. Basically, your BEST FRIEND is supposed to have your back NO MATTER WHAT in public. If they have an issue a real friend will address it in private.

In my case both of us were at fault for a few things that happened within our friendship, I knew it would never be the same but I always expected to stay friends even if it wasn’t BEST friends.

She was different and wanted to prove to herself or others that she didn’t need me. We tried to be friends again at first but couldn’t repair it enough. She finally decided that I needed to be nonexistent in her life, to the extent that and I quote, ” I don’t want you to be able to see what’s going on in my life,” and that meant I got blocked from IG.

So…. How does that help you?

Well, it will never be the same and you will NEVER be best friends again. You will never have the same trust to tell her your secrets again, so that part we know.

BUTTT… The outcome will depend on what type of person you are.

If you are low maintenance, chill, humble and still want to see her succeed in life and be supportive as an acquaintance (like me) then just explain to her that you can still be “friends” but not best friends.

If you have negative emotional issues (anxiety, depression ect), and are a little more controlling and have something to “prove” to her, others or yourself (like her). Then just cut it off. It’s not worth stringing the other girl along in hope of reconciliation.

Either way, you have to be up front and let her know what you choose. Forgiveness isn’t for the other person, it’s for you. So forgive but don’t forget.

Best of luck.. and Love 😉

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