Ever wonder why your relationship hits a stagnant sex period? Well, I have an answer for you.
It’s a mix of biology, psychology, and evolution.
It’s hard to talk about and often times it’s not the women complaining. I’ve received many questions in my Dear MissGuidedQueen segment about intimate sex lives, and instead of answering all of them individually I decided to dedicate this post to all of them.
Men want to know why their wives have stopped putting out and how to encourage them to do it more often. Women want to know why their sex has changed since dating and how to make it not feel like a chore.
Before I give away any secrets I just want to say communication is key to all relationships and a sexual one even more so.. After communication it’s compromise. The natural give and take of life is the same in any relationship (sex included)..
Lets start with the main sexual differences between men and women… An evolutionary idea explains WHY men and women are different sexually and scientists believe it is because men were designed to “spread their seeds” so that their genes could get passed on. You know SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.
I’m not saying its correct, just giving you all the science. Women are different from men evolutionally because we have a parental commitment. Just think about it, we physically carry children in our bodies then breastfeeding and just trying to ensure they stay alive.
So science says men are supposed to have sex as much as possible to pass their genes on, where women can only produce 1 child per year (with a few exceptions) The best way for us to pass on our genes is to make sure the one we gave birth to survives. Therefore women are less evolutionary driven to have sex.
I know what you’re all thinking.. But our sex was amazing at first and I as a woman enjoy sex! Well in new relationships they often are because it’s full of excitement, passion and showing off, but as time goes on the true nature of biology comes out. And now days we have many birth control options available so it is less of a worry.
It’s no secret that men need no warm up period, they are ready to go whenever, where ever. Women however, need to warm up and get the juices flowing. This causes turmoil in long term relationships because the man just wants it right then and is no longer engaging in the warm up sessions that women need. —- This is why women feel like it’s a chore.
Women get turned on by the “feeling” we need a connection to get us going. ForePlay Foreplay Foreplay in case yall didn’t know. Men are visual. They relay on visual stimulation, just another reason its fast acting. It’s easier to see something than to feel something.
THE SOLUTION: Compromise, Sometimes ladies give him a quickie with the lights on. And men kiss her, touch her, and I mean more than 5 mins, do what she likes (ask her, you like this?) and she will be ready to go in no time. Once ya’ll understand what the other likes, somedays will be for him and somedays will be for her.
Best of Luck.. .. and Love 😉