Dear Missguided Queen,

I need some advice of somewhere I can look for some assistance. I’m struggling to figure out how I’m going to get my kids school clothes and supplies. Me and my husband have 4 kids to take care of,a 7 yo, 5 yo, 18 mo and 7wk old. This past year has been hard enough he was let go a couple months ago, got a new job but isn’t making enough.

My two oldest are his step kids and their biological father is a piece of shit that doesn’t help or see them at all.

My husband has been supporting us all but money has been a little tight lately. I’ve been trying to sell clothes and little things around the house to be able to get school stuff but I’m just so stressed.

I cry every night trying to think of what I’m going to do, how to give them what they need.

I’m beyond thankful for my husband and everything he does but I don’t want to put a bigger burden on him and tell him we need school things when it should be their biological father doing that at least.

How can I get what we need, cope with stress and not let them know I’m struggling?

Hi Anonymous,

I really think you should let your husband know they need school supplies. I understand he’s not their bio father BUT..

having married you after you had children meant he accepted responsibility for them as well.

You guys are supposed to be a team anyways, and I’m sure he wouldn’t let them go without. So ask/tell him.

I would also check out your local DSS and ask them if they know of any churches doing back to school give aways. In my small town some churches give notebooks, paper, bookbags and free haircuts. So find out if your community does this. Sometimes you can also ask for churches that will help individuals, DSS should have a list of willing places for those in need.

I don’t know where you live, or what gender your kids are but I have boys clothes sizes 10-12 if they would work let me know. Reach back out to me to let me know gender and size and we will try to find them some clothes.

As far as how to not let them know your struggling, just don’t say anything to the kids. Your husband 100% needs to know, he is your partner.

Now, how to cope with stress. A few of my favorites include yoga, a bubblebath, meditation and sleep!!! Remember its okay to take 5 mins in the bathroom to cry so your kids don’t see. It’s okay to be stressed and worried,motherhood is hard.

Best of Luck!

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