I had a huge response to the idea of starting an advice column. The need was WAY bigger than anticipated. But ya’ll, here is the first ever Dear MissguidedQueen:
Dear Missguidedqueen, My husband and I have been together 16 years and married for 5. We have been through hell and back. We lost his parents and my mom between 2003 and 2008. We have no extended family or support system. My husband recently started a new job where he is home every night but he took a big pay cut. I get paid to take care of our last remaining parent, my elderly father. The pay is horrible but I get to take the kids with me and I don’t have to pay for child care. He wants me to find a regular job to help out more financially but every time I try getting a different job either my dad falls ill or the it’s something with the kids. What should I do?
I think it’s hard for a man to ask his wife for help and I think that since he did ya’ll must need the extra income. Now with that being said, I wouldn’t discredit taking care of your elderly father as not being a “regular” job because you still get paid to do that AND I WOULD KEEP THAT JOB. However, if you need extra income and don’t want to pay for child care I would find a 2nd or 3rd shift something since your husband is now home at night(whichever one will fit your schedule best). Upon doing this though, you need to explain to your husband that you will need help with household chores since you will be gone more.
And if that doesn’t work for you, most states offer some sort of daycare assistance though DSS. I would check that out to see if you’re eligible for discounted or even free childcare.
But in my opinion you deff need to stay taking care of your dad, and just find something after the husband gets home that is part time to supplement for extra income.
Best of luck to you!